On being late-bloomer and an old-soul

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“People at your age are already getting stable.”

“You don’t know this?! This is the latest trend?!”Β 

“Why are you so choosy when it comes to guys?”

And those are just a few words that I receive from everyone.

I am that kind of woman that rather write down her emotions in her journal than to constantly rant about it on the social media. I would rather let it all out using my pen than exposing it on social media where nobody evens care will just talk about it behind my back.

I prefer to live my life truthfully than just to live to impress or please others. This is who I am and its not my problem if others will find that I already changed. I longed for this changed in me. I longed that I finally found pure happiness and comfort within me. If you can’t accept that I am living my life truthfully, its not my problem anymore.

I believe that I don’t have to fit in into this world just so I can have friends. I have a couple of friends that you’ll probably see I’m still hanging with even after college–and they’re the true ones that I found.

I am the kind of woman that finds happiness in the simplest and little things. Simple things as eating breakfast is already enough to fuel up my happiness. Besides, being happy is a choice. You don’t have to give me the latest smartphone, it won’t make sense if I had the latest smartphone but I don’t even communicate with the people that I love the most. I’d rather have the simplest one, as long as it would help me communicate with you. You’ll even find me crying tears of joy over a laughing baby or simply by watching a Disney movie. I am not afraid to show my emotions, especially if it shows how happy I am. I don’t mind suddenly swaying my hips and hands when my favorite song plays out.

I don’t like small talks. Show me what you feel and I’ll let you enter my universe. I could give you advice that you won’t expect to be heard from me. Talk to me about your weird curiosity and you’ll find me getting curious about it too. Don’t be afraid to open up to me because it will make me love and accept you even more.

I am the kind of person who’s not afraid to forgive even if you doesn’t deserve forgiveness, even if you don’t own up to it. And when I love, I love hard.

I am the kind of person that would only date you if I find you so damn special and can be the love of my life until the end of my life. So feel special about it and don’t even try to take advantage of it, cause once that I get tired, don’t expect me to come back and give you another chance when everyday of my life is a chance that I gave you that you didn’t even get to grab. I don’t mind sending you random sweet messages or writing you love letters in the most creative way, just so I could tell you how much impact you’ve done in my life. I would even kiss you surprisingly and be crazy whenever you’re around. Trust that when I choose, its only you and nobody else can destroy what I am feeling for you.

I am the kind of woman who’s not afraid to explore the world on her own and learn from other’s experiences. I don’t mind traveling alone and end-up finding myself to a stranger for hours. Hearing their stories will make me feel alive that we all have our own ups and downs and that at the end of the day, we still decide to live this life that God has given us.

I believe in the power of preparing yourself with faith rather than with covering yourself up and being too confident. I believe in prayers instead of just relying on my own. I believe that there’s no greater power than having faith with the Greater Power. I believe that I will not be able to survive this world with His guidance and without the great faith that I have in Him.

I am a late-bloomer and an old-soul and I am happy that I finally accepted the fact that I am like this. That I don’t have to fit in the society, that I don’t have to be the popular girl that everybody wants to be, that I don’t need to have the latest designer clothes to express that I am fashionable, that I have to date every guy that hits me with, “what’s up?”, that even if I get hurt because of love, I still choose to love. That showing my emotions doesn’t mean that I am weak but rather strong for letting it all out. That I believe that I am a work-in-progress, a long and beautiful process that will soon bloom. This is who I am.

This is what being a late-bloomer and an old-soul is like and I don’t wanna change who I am anymore.

 

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